Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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