he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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