I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
