Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize