I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize