Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
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