Im at strip club and am horny
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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