but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize