Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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