Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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