How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
