what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
