she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
