You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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