all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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