hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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