Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Randomize
