her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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