We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
