It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish i was in the wii world.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
