Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
