How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
