he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
