Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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