Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
try to milk me bitch
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