the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
