so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize