So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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