she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize