I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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