Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize