Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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