The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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