just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
