The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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