grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My liver just had a heart attack.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
