"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
