Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"

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(937): View more from Ohio

We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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(310): View more from California

he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!

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(206): View more from Washington

Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?

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(512): View more from Texas

Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

and their significant others

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

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(604): View more from British Columbia

If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am

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