We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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