I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
