singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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