You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize