Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
