...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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