I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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