Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
