the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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