I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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