TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Sorry my hands just texted you
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
