What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
