pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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