Will you blow on my dice?
no, he came in my armpit
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
