Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
