It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
