I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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