i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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