I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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