hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
