U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
