would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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